"O, the next one is O....E....T"
"If you tell your sister ONE more of those letters I will drag you out of this room" Foiled again.
Third grade and I just got my braces on and now they tell me I have to get ~GLASSES~?! Fuq no. My little 8 year old self could not understand what having glasses meant. Doesn't every little kid feel like having glasses is the stamp of doom on all chances of being part of the awesome social scene pre-pubescent life promised? I know I did. I can remember staring at myself in the mirror with my teal rimmed glasses wondering how the freak this happened. My eyes had only been part of this world for 2,920 days, how could they already be so impaired. I cursed the eye doctor, that mother effer was surely lying to me; but if he was...then why was that tigger poster looking more and more like a blob of swirling fire?
Anywhoo, enough of that moping. By 6th grade, I loved having glasses and my little sister was jealous as hell. ~GLASSES~ were great! You get a new pair almost every time you went to the eye doctor and it was like a classy as fuq reward for all of the eye drops and eye prodding. It was better than a simple, "It was great poking you in the eye, here's a jolly rancher now GET THE EFF OUT."
I think by now, I must have had over six different pairs of glasses with my favorite pair so far currently. Naturally I wear contacts now, because my hella sensitive ears tell me that glasses hurt but that doesn't mean my eye glass obsession has ended, oh no, it is stronger than ever. I am currently lusting after a pair that I must, must, must get my hands on (see above picture).
And with that my precious y'allz, I give you the glasses hall of mother fuq-ing fame:
Mr. Woody Allen
Mr. Matthew Gray Gubler
Ms. Zooey Deschanel
Ms. Marilyn Monroe
Mr. Buddy Holly
Mr. Ben Folds
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